One exceptionally boring night...

Enishi: Tell me again why I'm watching this.

Kaoru: So we know what would've happened if we weren't here now.

Enishi: I think you and I BOTH know what would've happened. Don't ya read their blasted tankobans?

Kaoru: Oh, I do. Don't you want to see yourself animated?

Enishi: What's the point? They always change these things anyway. Like in the first OVA. My sister purposely gave Battousai the scar. Hmmm... wait a minute.... I think I like that death scene better... not that there's anything to like in your death, 'neesan.... (spaces out)

Kaoru: If it's any consolation, I don't think they'd show any scenes with your 'neesan. Here, have some popcorn. I made it myself. ^_^

Enishi: WHAT?! NOT SHOW MY 'NEESAN?!! BUT MY 'NEESAN WOULD BE THE BEST THI--

(Kaoru stuffs Enishi's mouth with popcorn)

Enishi: .... mmmm, this is quite good. (gets more)

Kaoru: Thank you. (Thank you microwave. ^_^)

*OVA starts and a few minutes go by*

Kaoru: Ohmigod, Kenshin's drowning?!

Enishi: _Oh_my_God_. Kenshin's drowning... And so early in the OVA too. I think I'm beginning to like this.

Kaoru: Ssshhh... Here I come. AAACCKK!!!! MY HAIR!!! IT'S IN A BUN!!! I LOOK OLD!!!! I look horrible... *sniffles*

Enishi: Not just that. You look miserable too.

Kaoru: (sniffles more)

Enishi: (looks away) Here...(hands tissue box). Go blow your nose or something.

Kaoru: (blows nose)

*a few minutes go by*

Kaoru: You mean I've been waiting all this time and I'm not even sure Kenshin's going to return? What kind of a crappy life is that?

Enishi: I always knew he was a jerk. Here, have some popcorn.

Kaoru: (gets bowl)Thank you. I think I will. Arrrmmmm....aarrmmm....

Enishi: I said you could have *some* not all of it. Gimme that.

Kaoru: I can't help it. I eat when I'm upset. (stuffs face with popcorn)

Enishi: (looks at TV screen) I'm amazed you haven't gotten fat. With you so miserable and all...

Kaoru: I do practice my kendo!!! And with all the chores.... Oh, look. we're out of popcorn. I'll get some more. Can you please put it on pause for a sec? (Enishi pauses player) Thanks.

*Kaoru goes to the kitchen and comes back with a bowl of popcorn and half a gallon of rocky road ice cream*

Kaoru: I'm back. (sees Enishi stare at ice cream) Don't mind me. (proceeds to stuff face with ice cream)

Enishi: Aa... I don't think I will. (switches to play mode)

Kaoru: Eh?! Tsubame-chan?! Yahiko?! They're all grown up!!! Oooohh.. are they married?!

Enishi:(mutters) Tsubame seems to be the only one who's not pro-Kenshin here. I think I'm beginning to like her.

Kaoru: Aaaww, she's worried about me. How sweet.

Enishi: She should. You're miserable.

Kaoru: Don't remind me. Oh, is that Kenji? Kawaii! My, he's all grown up. No wonder I look old...

Enishi: Doesn't look a bit like you. And I bet he's short too.

Kaoru: Hmph... don't remind me. At least he loves me dearly.

Enishi: Well, he should.

Kaoru: Look, he's even training with Hiko-san! I'm so proud! (motherly chatter omitted to keep this short)

Enishi: So that's Battousai's shishou. I totally agree with him. Battousai IS stupid. I think I'm beginning to like this Hiko person.

Kaoru: Hmm, he seems to dislike Kenshin a lot....

Enishi: He does?! Hmm, that kid's got spunk. I think we'll get along well.

*a few more minutes go by*

Kaoru: What's that on Kenshin's arm? Scars? Bruises? Poor Kenshin. I see all those years of fighting finally caught up with him. Megumi was right.

* a few more minutes go by*

Kaoru: AAACCK!!! WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME MARKS ON MY ARM??!! Why did I faint?! Am I sick?!

Enishi: Hmm. I see all those years of wandering finally caught up with him. And he passed it on to you too. *snickers*

Kaoru: WHAT?! Are you trying to imply that...

Enishi: All I can say is if he had taken any precaution, none of this would've happened.

Kaoru: Am I going to die? (becomes teary eyed)

Enishi: Of course not. Don't be silly. I know this great doctor in Shanghai. Maybe we can even go to Europe for some treatment.

Kaoru: (looks at Enishi) Did you just ask me to leave my family and go away with you?

Enishi: *sweat drops* Uh... Oh Look! Sano's trying to stop you from going to Kenshin. I think I'm beginning to like him.

Kaoru: Don't change the subje--- My... Sano looks good... I wonder why I never noticed that before...

Enishi: No he doesn't. I look better. I told you these OVAs change things.

Kaoru: (smiles slyly) Is that jealousy I hear in your voice...?

Enishi: Enough of these flashbacks. I'm getting bored.

*Unfortunately for Enishi, there are more flashbacks*

Kaoru: Is Megumi telling me to leave Kenshin?

Enishi: I didn't know you had such nice friends. Invite them to dinner some time.

Kaoru: It's not like they have MY welfare in mind. *sniffles*

Enishi: They just want Kenshin to themselves.

Kaoru: (eyes widen) Megumi I know... but Sano...

Enishi: (cheerfully) What did I tell you? These OVAs change things.

*Kaoru's eyes widen more*

Kaoru: (blushes furiously) Ano... I didn't know Kenshin can be so forward....

Enishi: (leaves through tankoubans furiously) You KNOW very well he ISN'T. That kiss at sunset NEVER HAPPENED. I told you over and over again. These OVAs CHANGE things. CHANGE... Get it? (sees Jin-chuu sign on dojo door) Oh, things are starting to look up.

Kaoru: Why did Kenshin run off suddenly?

Enishi: (cheerfully) He's chicken, that's why.

Kaoru: (looks puzzled) But Sano's the chicken...

Enishi: That's _not_ what I meant.

*Kenshin finally tells Kaoru about his past*

Kaoru: Wait, why would Hiko-san give me a cup with white plums painted on it when he knows that Kenshin lives with me and white plums remind him of Tomoe?

Enishi: I told you he was a great guy... Nooo! 'Neesan!!

(from speakers) Kenshin: Himura Tomoe...

Kaoru: Kenshin's heart *really* is somewhere else...

Enishi: 'Neesan! (spaces out)

Kaoru: Hey, don't space out! You'll be on soon!

Enishi: (composes himself) You're right. Oh, there I am!

Kaoru: (looks hard at TV screen) Where?!

Enishi: You blinked! You missed it! Now don't take your eyes off the screen because I'll be coming on again soon. There? See? That's me behind you.

Kaoru: Oh yeah. you're coming to get me

Enishi: *sings* If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you... AAAHH!!!

Kaoru: What? Why? What's wrong?

Enishi: My hair...

Kaoru: Hey, that's not how it happened! I'm not in my dogi! Where's my bokken? Why do I look so terrified?! I PUT UP A FIGHT! *mumbles* Well, not really since you cheated... But I *tried* to put up a fight!

Enishi: My hair....

Kaoru: That's it? No attack on Kenshin? No puppet that looks like me?

Enishi: MY HAIR!!!! .............................I demand Jin-chuu. (takes MnT's calligraphy set and starts writing Jin-chuu on pieces of paper)

Kaoru: There's no need to do that. They change things in OVAs. You said so yourself.

Enishi: THEY MURDERED MY HAIR!

Kaoru: Look, if there's anyone who should carry out Jin-chuu it should be ME. They cut off my hair, they made me seem so old and helpless, I've got mysterious marks on my arm, my kid hates his dad and is off training in some distant mountain, my husband has yet to come back and to top it all, I'm not even sure he's over his dead wife!!!!

Enishi: (stops writing) So are you going to help me or not?

Kaoru: GIMME THAT BRUSH!!!! I CAN WRITE JINCHUU BETTER!!!!

(ExK no Tenshi-tachi peeps through door crack)

"Aawww, look at them doing calligraphy together... isn't that sweet..."

*end*

comments: We saw a cute pic of Enishi holding a calligraphy brush and Kaoru holding the ink bowl in CHAOS TRAP. Please see links page for more details.

For comments, please email us at webdominatrix@enishixkaoru.zzn.com.

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Disclaimer: Site created by the ExK no Tenshi-tachi. Enishi, Kaoru & other Rurouni Kenshin characters belong to Watsuki Nobuhiro-sensei, Sony, and Shonen Jump. The rest are products of the webdominatrices' imagination. Please don't sue us. We're very poor.