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Rurouni Rewrites (Or Traveling Firecracker Salesman Enishi)
Part 2--The Salesman Comes to Town Kaoru: Not a single one of them came back. This is unbelievable. Enishi (who is setting up shop by the well): It’s because they’re sissies, that’s why. It’s people like those who make my samurai sparklers sure fire hits…they’re too cowardly to wield real swords so they make do with flashy pretend ones, not that I’m complaining. Kaoru: Speaking of unbelievable, what about your hair? One day it just turned white? It’s a lie. It’s a trick. Apologize and tell me the truth! Enishi: It really just turned white. And that’s all there is to it. Kaoru: Oh c’mon, hair doesn’t turn prematurely white for no reason. Enishi (looks Kaoru squarely in the eye): End of story. (Later, shopping in town.) Kaoru (thinking as they walk): Yukishiro Enishi is a drifter, a traveling salesman, selling the best firecrackers Tokyo has ever seen, now staying at the dojo. But he is truly the brother-in-law of the patriot who paved the way for the Meiji Restoration, the legendary Hitokiri without peer, Himura Battousai-- but . . . Why would he become a traveling firecracker salesman . . . Almost all the patriots gave up their swords. Now, they have positions in the new government. Didn’t Himura Battousai receive retirement benefits, or maybe he’s just an indifferent brother-in-law . . . Enishi (noticing her staring at him): There’s something you want to ask me about my past, isn’t there? Well go ahead baby, ask away…unless it’s about the hair. Kaoru (guiltily remembering her words "Everyone has one or two things about their past they don’t want to talk about."): That’s not it at all! It’s your sword! You can’t just walk around with a sword these days! Enishi: But just two years ago lots of people wore them. Look, it’s not bothering anybody. Kaoru: That’s because they don’t know it’s a sword. What are you going to do when the police find it? They might take away your trade license if you break the law! Enishi: It happens if it happens. Besides, (pats his sword) such a unique weapon is meant to be seen. You think there are any more of these babies around here? I don’t think so. I had this custom-made in… Kaoru (cuts him off): Jeez. Well, let’s take care of the shopping. You get the miso, the salt and the soy sauce. Enishi: That’s all you’re planning to cook with? What’s that gonna taste like? Why in Shanghai, I had eleven course meals everyday. Look, if you need more money, I can easily… Kaoru: Don’t complain! (thinks to herself) Eleven course meals??!!! But he’s only a salesman… (A carriage draws up behind her.) Man in the Carriage: Excuse me, miss. I’ve gotten a little lost. Can you tell me the way to the police station? Kaoru: Oh . . . yes. You just turn right at the large street up ahead. Man: Thank you. (to the driver) Let’s hurry. Kaoru (as he drives off): That startled me. I wonder where he’s from. I haven’t seen him before. Well, shopping. Man in the Carriage (thinking): It’s true . . . this is the town . . . Himura Battousai . . .! Kaoru (to a passerby, in front of a forming crowd): What’s going on? Passerby: They’ve caught someone for breaking the edict against carrying swords. (Policemen have formed a semi-circle around Enishi against a brick wall.) Police: Who do you think you are? Police2: Whoever you are, you can’t run away! Enishi: That may not necessarily be true. But, I must admit, you’re very persistent. There’s nothing to be done. Why don’t you go peacefully and I’ll overlook this little incident? Sword-bearing Police (from behind): Out of the way! Sword-bearing police coming through!! Get out of our way!! Sword-bearing Police: The policeman permitted to wear swords. An elite, selected from among the best for their ability at kenjutsu. Policeman (saluting): Cap-captain Ujiki . . . Ujiki: Good work. We’ll take it from here. Return to headquarters. Policeman: B-but, this man hasn’t shown any sign of drawing his sword. (quietly) So, we shouldn’t need any help to bring him in--- (Ujiki strikes him with the butt of his sword.) Ujiki: Are you trying to give me advice? If I say get out of here, get out of here. (turning to Enishi) What’s this. Looks like a nice guy. (he whips his sword around, stopping in inches from Enishi’s face.) Why don’t you draw your sword? If you’re wearing a sword in Tokyo you must have great confidence in your abilities. Enishi (calmly pushing the blade aside): Oh I do. But there’s no need to draw my sword. I have no reason to show off. Kaoru (running towards them): Enishi! Ujiki: She must be with Mr. Nice Guy here. Enishi: (looks at Kaoru) Yeah, she is. Kaoru: Righ-- eh?! (Swordsmen on either side of her slice just above her head. The ribbon in her hair falls to the ground.) Policeman: Your kimono will be next. Ujiki: Once again, why don’t you draw your sword? Enishi: Can you really be police… Don’t you have anything better to do than strip a girl of her… umm… dignity? Ujiki: That’s right. Enishi: Hnh. I should have known. (mutters) Hmm… this would be interesting… Ujiki: (realizes the implications of what he just said) No, wait! We’re police… permitted to wear swords. Licensed to kill. The Sword-bearing Police! Kaoru (under her breath): Why won’t he draw his sword? Crowd: This is tyranny! Don’t push it, cop! Leave him alone, you bastards! Ujiki: Jeering from a crowd--you must be pretty brave. This is an obstruction of justice. Arrest them all! I don’t care about those who resist. Kill them. (The police turn on the fleeing crowd, but a sound behind them makes everyone freeze. Enishi stands, sword drawn.) Enishi: You really have nothing better to do. If you want an opponent, I’m here. Leave Kaoru – and everyone else out of this. Ujiki: So Mr. Nice Guy is no more, eh? That is a strange sword indeed. But a swordsman gets out of practice if he doesn’t kill someone once in a while!! Enishi: (grins maniacally) What makes you think I haven’t? (At police headquarters, the chief of police is talking with the man from the carriage--whose name, as we discover later, is Yamagata.) Yamagata: I see, so he was an impostor . . . Chief: Yes. Yamagata: If you think about it, it makes sense. Himura was not the kind of man to show off his strength. Certainly the man called Hitokiri Battousai killed. But he never killed for his own gain. It was all for the new era--There are many heroes who saved lives with their swords . . . but without him the patriots could not have succeeded. I wanted to find him and grant him the rank in the Emperor’s military he deserves. Chief: Yes but actually . . . the culprits were found beaten in front of the station. Who did it is unclear. They claim it was the real one. Yamagata: What . . .! Chief: But that’s probably just talk. (A young officer bursts into the office.) Policeman: It’s terrible, Chief! Chief: Idiot, there’s a guest here! Can’t you knock! Policeman: I apologize, sir. But it’s the Sword-bearing Police! Chief: Ujiki’s at it again. Yamagata: Sword-bearing Police? I hadn’t heard that name. Chief: It’s a unit formed by orders from Tokyo, but they’re a violent group with a captain from Satsuma. [The patriots typically came from five regions: Satsuma (present-day Kagoshima), Choushuu (Yamaguchi), Tosa (Kouchi), Hizen (Saga), and others (Mito, Fukuoka, etc.) Satsuma and Choushuu for a long time commanded the most government influence. At this time, Satsuma controlled the police and Choushuu the army.] Yamagata: I see. They can be arrogant. Chief: Well, what have they done this time? Police: No, actually, they’re still fighting. And it’s only one swordsman-- Chief: What! But that’s foolish! They’re chosen from the finest at headquarters! Police: But it’s true! Chief: I can’t believe it . . . who can he be? Police: I don’t know. He’s a tall man with white hair, and he moves so quickly that you can hardly see it, but he has a combination Chinese hilt and Japanese blade… Yamagata (thinking): Yukishiro Enishi? It’s been years since I saw the boy. But if I remember correctly, his hair turned white shortly before Himura disappered. (The carriage rushes to the scene. Yamagata jumps out.) Yamagata (thinking): Such an unfortunate incident. If it is indeed Yukishiro, then he must know where Himura is . . . (The sword-bearing police are strewn across the street. Enishi turns to Ujiki.) Enishi: You’re the only one left. Swear not to menace the townspeople in this way again. This is over. Afterwards you may arrest me for carrying a sword and committing assault if you wish. I’m allowed to pay bail, aren’t I? Ujiki: Nonsense! This means nothing! (he raises the sword above his head in a two-handed grip and charges.) Kaoru: That stance . . . it’s the Ni-no-tachi Irazu style of the Jigen school, the best in Satsuma! Chief: Stop, Ujiki, this man is-- Yamagata: Fool. The Jigen school is certainly unique, but against the Hiten Mitsurugi school it is nothing. (Ujiki strikes. Enishi leaps above him, jumps off the building’s roof behind them, and hits Ujiki’s back.) Kaoru: Enishi! Enishi: Are you all right? (People crowd in around them.) People: That was great, brother! Hey, aren’t you the firecracker salesman? Come have a drink with us! Your sparklers are great!!! Yamagata: Yukishiro. Last time I saw you, you were this tall (puts his hand to his waist), even smaller than Battousai. (looks at Enishi's hair) I remember that unfortunate incident too. I’ve been looking for your brother-in-law for ten years . . . Enishi (scowling): I was not that small, Mr. Yamagata. Neither was I trained in the Hiten Mitsurugi school. I would rather not talk about that... incident. And for the record, I am more than just Battousai’s brother-in-law. Yamagata: So I heard. Your swordsmanship and, if what I hear is true, your firecrackers are very impressive nonetheless. Chief, I’d like to speak with him privately. Kaoru (thinking): Yamagata . . . It can’t be . . . the general of the strongest unit in the Emperor’s Army, the patriot Yamagata Aritomo! (The police begin to push the crowd back.) Police: Hey, break it up, break it up. Crowd: This is tyranny! Brother, kill these guys too! Yamagata: The carriage is waiting. Many from our unit have been waiting for your brother-in-law’s return to your lord’s service. Come! Enishi: Unfortunately, he doesn’t feel the slightest longing for the (rolls eyes) glooorious work of the Hitokiri. Yamagata: What? If you’re talking about the killings, it was part of the great work of the Ishin Shishi! Does it still worry him?! Certainly there were those who hated the Hitokiri. However those people-- Enishi: Are suppressed by government authority. To think like that leads to conceit and arrogance. (He begins to walk away. Kaoru hurries to follow him.) Yamagata: But Yukishiro! The times have changed! It’s the Meiji era now! There’s an edict against carrying swords! The samurai have been abolished! It’s not like the Bakumatsu. Himura and his family are not safe if he continues living as a common man! Enishi: Yes, that may be true. But I’m still in no position to reveal where my brother-in-law is. (pause) Perhaps they are much safer that way. Enishi: Mr. Yamagata, I am just a firecracker salesman. I can only help you if you need firecrackers. But since I have nothing to sell right now, I have no business being here. (They walk away.) Yamagata: I understand. (To chief) Judging by the townspeople’s reactions, it’s obvious who was at fault. Chief: A sword is a safer thing to overlook than a sword cane. However . . . in the case of the false one, I thought Hitokiri Battousai was a dangerous, brutal killer. As one might expect, the real one is different . . . But there’s something about this man that bothers me. I find it hard to believe he is just a firecracker salesman. (Kaoru and Enishi are walking home, carrying groceries.) Enishi: Sorry about that. Kaoru (thinking): Why Enishi became a traveling firecracker salesman . . . (aloud) What for? Enishi: Your ribbon. It’s my fault it was ruined. I’ll buy you a new one. Kaoru (thinking) I’m beginning to understand. Maybe he doesn’t want to be in the shadow of his legendary brother-in-law . . . (aloud) That’s okay. You can just do a little housework for me. Enishi: Let me buy you TWO ribbons. And a kimono. Does a pair of new geta sound good to you? Just no housework please. Kaoru: (happily) Okay, you’ve got a deal. [main]
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